So Far Away
~Avenged Sevenfold~
--***--
--Through The Glass--
-Stone Sour-
-
February 19, 2009
“Let me go! What is happening! Get off of me, damnit!” the girl screams as two guards burst into her bedroom, grab her by her tiny twig-like arms and usher her down the stairs while ignoring her high pitched screams. “Mom, dad please tell me what is going on. Please. Please tell me where am I going and why the hell are two men holding me like I am a prisoner? I’ve done nothing wrong” the girl cries out, feeling defenseless as her parents stand at the bottom of the stairs. But the feeling of loneliness was and has been lingering in her chest since she was a little girl who was always pushed into the corner because no one ever wanted to make friends with her. “I’m so sorry honey but for the safety of your father, your brother, myself and everyone in this community, it’s best that you go somewhere where you can get the help you need. We tried honey. Please know that we tried our hardest but we can’t give you the help you need around here in order get well so we are sending you to professionals. They’ll know what to do.” The girl’s mother said. Her older brother then comes rushing down the stairs, screaming and instantly saw his baby sister in the arms of two oversized men in working outfits that had the name of the local mental institution.
“What’s going on-.” her older brother says, running his hand through his dyed-black hair before stopping himself mid sentence in rage. “What have you done?! Where are you doing with her?” He begins, his face turning a shade of red. “Brian please-” the mother of the two children tries saying in a soothing tone but is ignored by her son in an outburst of pure anger and rage. “NO! Don’t you dare try and reason this. You guys are the reason that she’s insane! You think she chose this- this life? No, she didn’t!” He screams. “Brian, please calm down. Your sister is already distressed as it is.” The mother says, trying to sound as calm as she could. “Stop the act, damnit! You never cared about her or her wellbeing and it pisses me off to such a high degree. I was always the damned star child because dad took time and taught me the guitar and she got nothing from you guys. She was terrified to even ask for anything, her voice trembling whenever she would try and ask you horrible people something because was afraid for the result. And when she did go crazy, you just looked down on her like she was a piece of garbage. Oh and what about the time you slapped her when she got a ‘poor test grade’ of ninety two on her English Regents? Huh? Did you just happen to forget that she had a bruise on the left side of her otherwise beautiful skin for a week and a half! And don't look so surprised that I know that because I was there! I watched the whole thing! She was so happy to come home to show her grade and as a reward she gets slapped! You are a disgrace. Emma is my best friend and she never deserved any of this.” He barks out.
He then looks over at his little sister, tears rushing down her eyes as the two men were grasping roughly on her arms, holding her like they would a prisoner. Locking eyes with her older brother, he saw the pain in her eyes that were otherwise hooded with tears. He makes his way over to her and takes her in her arms, ignoring the yells from the guards and his parents. “Bri, my arms…..they hurt so bad” she cries into her brother's chest, her bitten down and frail nails clutching the black cotton v-neck her brother wore. “Em, I’m going to get you out of there. I promise you. You’re going to be ok and I know I will see you again. I’ll save you.” Brian whispers before getting ripped away from his little sister by his dad. “Brian, you apparently don’t grasp the fact that she killed someone in the parking lot of the high school!” the father screams, causing Brian’s face to turn red. He broke out of his father’s grasp and his eyes turned a shade no one had ever seen before. They . “Do you think she did that deliberately. Asher knew she wasn’t ok and he provoked her until she finally snapped! Please, no one ever heard the fact that before this happened, she was held against the school lockers and was punched over and over again before she fell to the ground! I get the fact that she isn't okay but she is that way because of how she always asked for help because she knew she wasn’t ok and she was ignored so don’t you dare pull that crap on me. I saw everything and I will plead that she was provoked until she is taken out of that- that prison. The look in her eyes when he pushed her just a little over the edge. She couldn’t stop herself because she wasn’t taught how to cope with her actions. So don’t you dare get the impression that she just one day decided to kill someone.¨
Tears streamed down the girl’s face as she is soon guided out of her parents while listening to the screams and the sobs from her older brother. The sounds are soon muffled after being put into the back of the guarded vehicle. The tears altered with her vision as the view of her parents standing in the middle of the road shamelessly waving goodbye as if they didn’t know that their teenaged daughter was being hauled away to the looney bin instead of grieving and consoling each other and her brother who was on his knees sobbing faded away from the windows on the metal doors bolted shut.
Finally getting situated on the uncomfortable stainless-steel benches of the armed van she was thrown into, the disheveled girl who looked as if she couldn't kill a fly sat sweetly with her hands folded and placed on her lap and just stared at the somewhat distorted image of herself reflecting at her. Looking at herself for the first time in the past day, the mascara that was left on from the past few days was dried and smeared all along her cheeks and her hair was all frizzy and matted down. She was always told she wasn’t ok and for a while, she didn’t believe them. She knew that she was a bit odd but never that she was mentally insane. Until that one incident happened and she ticked and soon after, her fists covered in the same maroon liquid that was puddled on the ground. That was her realization. That was how she knew she was crazy and quite frankly, she was ok with it. Looking at the boy lifeless on the ground should have made her feel remorse and guilt. Instead, she felt invigorated and like she was filled with life and energy. Looking at her reflection in the window of the van that made her reflection all distorted, she didn’t see that innocence that every teenager still possesses. Instead she saw a maniac and she really did look like she fit into this new environment she was being thrown into. After a while, her frown slowly became to be a sinister grin- her teeth clenched together in a menacing smile. She was physically and emotionally numb. It was as if she turned off all emotion. She had officially come to terms with the fact that she was crazy and she liked it.
-
Just like she was put in the van, she was taken out the same way. The two guards took her in their arms like they would a fugitive and walked her into the enormous building and was brought into what seemed like the main room. A middle-aged aged woman sat behind a desk and asked for her name and the only thing she answered with was Emma in a low mutter.
“Well… Emma, I need you to fill out a chart for me. Can you do that?” The woman asks and all Emma does is give an emotionless nod. After taking the clipboard, she goes to the back-left corner of the room and slouches to the ground underneath a window that was bolted shut just like the ones in the truck. The clipboard asked her simple things to help give the nurses and doctors more information on their patients. She was 14, had an eating disorder that she had developed when she was six, she was 5’9 and has been for the past two years, and the rest of the information was said to have been already sent to the facility beforehand. She then got up and with extreme supervision of the two burly men, she walked to the desk and gave the women the clipboard. The guards then lead her past the lady behind the desk to flights of stairs that seemed to be never ending.
After walking ten of the flights of stairs, the guards led her down a hallway where men and women of all ages and sizes stared at the girl being ushered by two of the biggest men she had ever seen in her life. Most of the people looked terrifying and murderous but one stood out to her. His hair was short and looked to be spiky. He had both arms covered in tattoos which led onto his hands and the white t shirt that he had on clung onto his broad and built chest which showed a multitude of chest tattoos. His eyes weren’t as darkened as the rest of the people on this floor but instead, a pair of hazel eyes made contact with her grey ones and something clicked and in the first time in what seemed to be a life time, she felt ok for a crazy person. The dimples that shined bright against his pale skin got quickly embroidered in her mind. She felt feelings she wasn’t familiar with and it scared her in the most pleasurable way possible. Only a few people have ever gotten her to smile and he was one of those.
He was different and she liked that.
--**--
--Scream--
-Avenged Sevenfold-
April 24, 2017
It had been over eight years since she was put into the facility as they called it but every patient knew they were put in a place that dealt with all of societys outcasts. More than two thousand nine hundred and twenty days since she had been in the institution and for some odd reason, she felt like she was at ‘home’. She never associated anyone of her family as actual family except for her older brother Brian who pleaded her case but after a while, the facility stopped keeping her updated on all of that. They stopped telling her when Brian came to visit her or if he called and now quite frankly, she didn’t really care.
~
Over the years, she had come to enjoy watching the changes that happened around her. She watched the inmates and the guards and some nurses leave over time. Some left, others died, and some were even killed due for various reasons and some of which she didn’t know. She always tried to ask questions about some of the people she saw one day but didn’t the next but she was told the same thing every time.
¨The patients aren’t supposed to know that kind of stuff, honey.¨
Emma kept quiet for a majority of the time, stopping her need for asking questions, and the hope of her brother saving her slowly diminished as the days went by. The only time she ever talked to one person, the same person who intrigued her eight years ago with the spiky hair, the under-aged tattoos and various facial piercings she fell in love with, was the one she voiced her feelings with. She developed a strong bond with that special person. She was eighteen and he was twenty and they shared birthdays that were one year, five months and a day apart but that didn’t matter to them. No matter what the circumstances they were, they still shared an unbreakable bond and shared the same unidentified feeling. They talked whenever they could and since they had been there so long and they both abided by the rules and never broke them, they were awarded privileges. They were allowed to visit each other and were able to stay in each other’s ‘rooms’ and have been able to do that for the past three years. That was the only thing that gave the two of them the slightest glimpse of what they thought sanity was. To them, it was oddly kind of nice- being able get a tiny glance at a thing they rarely got to cherish while others joke about it and never actually appreciate it.
~
Today had started like any other day for Matthew Sanders. He woke up alone in his cold room on the small and old metal bed with springs that creaked at every little movement that caused his back to continuously ache to a point where he could no longer even feel it and a blanket that felt to have the same material as the everyday newspaper. His food was delivered to him and soon the empty tray was placed on the little metal bar where the tray was then taken. And then he would sit on the edge of his bed and wait for the girl he had hopelessly fallen for to be allowed to come in his room. Until then, April 24, 2017 was just like any other day. Until Matt’s day was completely stripped of his sanity.
“Matthew, Ms. Haner will not be joining you today”
That sentence and the disclosed information the nurse couldn't give him completely sent him into a blinded rage. His thoughts immediately were clouded over with thoughts of his Emma being potentially harmed. Springing up from his bed, he begins shaking the door out of energy startling the nurse.
“Where the hell is Emma? I- Where is she?!” Matt screamed, grasping the metal bars of the stainless steel door until his knuckles white. Not getting any answer, he made his way to the corner of his room with the thoughts of Emma being the facility’s next victim. He slouches against the wall and begins rocking back and forth in the corner of his room. Blood curdling screams erupted the room as matt rocked himself back and forth with his arms hugging his chest. Doctors rushed by his side as he began flailing his arms and started leaving out blood curdling screams and were trying to get him to work with him while he was trying to get everyone away from him but that wasn’t working very well.
“Mr. Sanders, work with us. Don’t fight us. We are trying to help you. You are not in the right state right now and Ms. Haner is in one of the lab rooms as we speak. We have been told that she will eventually be ok” A female doctor says as she gently tries taking his shoulder to try and calm him down and to try and attempt to reason with him. Looking at the female in front of him who failed at containing her fear, he glanced at her once before he felt himself boiling over with anger. “You’re telling me – you’re telling me that she is being tested on like a damned lab rat and you don’t know if she is going to be ok! For the love of god, she could die in there! I need her and I won’t go anywhere or do anything without her. And get your hands off of me, I am not a damned animal you inhumane pieces of crap”. Matt screams, his face a bright shade of read as veins in his neck were fully visible and popped out. “Please, if you took her away from me, I swear to god you will wish to never wake up again. She is the only thing I associate with home now because you took everything away from me. You don’t take the girl who is the only source of homeliness, sanity and love away from the crazy man unless you want all hell to break loose. It’s happened once and I’m not afraid to let it happen again.” He says in a rather low and sinister voice.
“What the hell is going on” he hears a voice that mentally made him smile. “Matt. Oh my god Matty, I’m here. Let me through. Jesus christ, let me through.” a voice rang out that startled and calmed him down. “Ms. Haner, you are not allowed in there. The patient is having a psychotic break down and you can be harmed. It is our duty to make sure our patients don't get harmed, especially by another patient.” The doctor says to her, trying to stop her from going in matt’s room. “Oh, screw off. He has been calling my name and was freaking out because I was gone. If anything, he’d harm one of you idiots. So, let me through before he kills someone.” Emma says, her voice darkening with each word. “I swear to god, let me through or I will kill someone and it will not be quick and easy. It will be painful and disgusting. I have done it before and I am not afraid to do it again.” she says, and with the blink of an eye, she was holding one of the 6’5 guards in a choke hold and managed to get the gun from his belt into her hold. “OK, ok, let her in” one of the head doctors says, only agreeing so that none of his coworkers would get hurt. “I’m right here ok.” Emma says, pushing her way through the guards with a string of curses leaving her lips before rushing to his side. She crouched down in front of him and took his face in her hands and pressed her forehead against his and begins wiping under his eyes to rid the tears from his wettened cheeks.
“Hey. Everything will be alright. I’m alright.” She begins, already visibly seeing Matt slowly begin to calm down. “They just took me in for some kind of testing while I was sleeping. I’m here and I really hope I won’t be leaving anytime soon” she finishes, earning an animalistic growl from Matt because of how they took her somewhere against her will and could have hurt her. “I thought they took you away from me. I thought you left or they killed you or they did something to you and then I would have to kill someone because they took you. You can’t leave me.” he sobs, his body beginning to shake. His shaking body began emitting screams but Emma kept her grasp on him, whispering to him sweet nothings that slowly calmed him down but no one seemed to notice.
“Ms. Haner, we’re going to need you to leave if the patient is going to have another breakdown that can result in someone being harmed.” “I am not leaving him in this state, damnit! And I know for a fact that he would never think of hurting the one girl he loves” A guard then comes behind Emma and tries to pry her out of Matt’s grip he has on her. As she begins to scream for the guard to let her go, Matt begins to shake again. Taking his face into his hands as he still continues to convulse, Matt screams loudly, startling everyone. “Let her go!” he screams in a dark voice, causing everyone in and around the room, including Emma to become startled. Turning their attention to the man who is now slowly making his way to the group of doctors who started forming a human blockade around Emma, they gaze at him in fear of what is to come. “Get away from her!” he screams. “She is not leaving me. Please don’t take her from me. I don’t want her to leave me.” He cries out, tears rushing down his face.
Then, Matt grabs the girl without trying to harm her and holds her in his arms. Looking directly at the guard who was a few inches smaller and not as built as him and points at him. “If you or any of these brick headed men put even a finger on her again, I will not be afraid to break all the limbs in your bodies.” He says, cracking his knuckles and neck, earning a fearful reaction from the guards. “Alright Mr. Sanders.” the doctor sighs. ¨We will move Ms. Haner into this room and this is a large exception we are making that is against the facilities rules.” “I will keep him in check. You can trust us” Emma says as an attempt on gaining the trust of the doctors as Matt still continues to sob in her neck. “Ok, fine. We will allow this but if anything happens that could potentially harm either one of you, we will take major precautions.” The nurses, guards and doctors soon left, leaving the two by themselves.
They sat on the floor for a little while longer, Matt’s head nuzzled into her neck as she sat on his lap with his legs angled in the air so she leant on his thighs. After a while, she felt Matt’s eyelashes come together and his breathing started to slow down. “Matty, we should move onto the bed. The sun’s beginning to set and I want you to try and get some sleep on a more comfortable surface.” Emma whispers, causing Matt to pull his head from out of her neck. “You’re not leaving, right? I really don’t want you to leave” he says like a fragile little boy. His eyes are bright red from all of the crying and his voice was deep and raspier than before due to all of the screaming and sobbing. “No, you have a new roommate. I’ll be here as long as I’m in this place.” Watching a faint smile lift his lips up made the girl smile. Just seeing him smiling gave her the little butterflies that flew around her stomach, causing her to become giddy. “Good because I meant what I said about you being the only source of love I have. I love you so much, Emma. So much it hurts. I love everything about you and I don’t care if they say you’re insane. You’re my home, my safe place.” He says, his eyes boring into the girl’s. “I love you too Matthew. I heard you screaming from the room I was in when I was waking up and I knew what you were freaking out about. I would never leave you unless I had to leave this place and I would only leave if you came with me.” she says, causing Matt to sigh. “This morning, the nurse who always escorts you to my room told me that you weren’t coming this morning and I never felt so much fear before and I’ve been arrested and tried for murder.” “I know. You were scared. That just shows how much you love me” She smiles, leaning in and presses the most loving kiss she has ever mustered against his lips. After what felt like forever, Emma pulled away and opened her eyes to Matt looking as if he were in some trance. His eyes soon fluttered open, looking at the girl in front of him.
He finally found that one person who would be able to calm him. He got the girl and nothing would ever take her from him and he would do anything possible to keep her safe. He wasn’t afraid to kill someone since he has already done that action before.
--**--
~Matt’s P.O.V~
Being with Emma, even under the supervision of a government facility for the insane, made me the happiest I have ever been. I was able to wake up to her always clinging onto me in her sleep and fall asleep with her in my arms. I didn’t want anything to ever change but I knew it would.
--**--
--Helena (I’m Not Ok)--
-My Chemical Romance-
July 18, 2017
~No POV~
-
“What is happening?! Get off of me!” Emma yells as the guard yanks her out of bed, completely disregarding the fact that Matt lay next to her. “You’re leaving today.” The guard simply answers as he begins to drag her against her will towards out of the room. “What in the hell is going on?” A voice booms over. “Let go of her.” Matt says in what sounds almost like an animalistic growl. “Let’s go Ms. Haner.” The guard says, ignoring Matt completely.
That’s when all hell broke loose
He goes up to the guard and throws one left hook, hitting him square in the jaw. This causes him to stumble back and blood to splutter out of his mouth and gashes in his fact, losing grip of Emma. Matt then takes the shaken yet angered girl in his arms.
“Em, are you ok?” He asks the girl in his arms who had her arms buried in his neck. “Matt, I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to leave. I can’t leave”
Emma cries as she clings onto him. After trying to calm down Emma, matt watches the guard who had been knocked down by the punch get back up
again. “Let’s go. Your family is waiting for you.” the guard says in a low voice, taking her from matt’s arm. “I- let me go” Emma screams, tears still falling as she knees the guard. More guards then flood the room, taking Emma by her arms and then throw Matt on the bed before leaving with the girl screaming and the door is shut, leaving the man to bask in his own blinding rage.
“Damnit!” Matt screams as tears of anger begin to fall. “Damn It.” He exclaims, beginning to shake and kick and punch the door for a good ten minutes before screws begin to fall out. After many hits, the door finally falls off its hinges. Running out of the cell and down the stairs, he sees Emma with her parents and a man about his age with his arms wrapped around her in a crushing hug. What makes him think was that there were no guards chasing him since he had all of them guarding his girl. Running as fast as he could, he made outside the building. Within five minutes, ten guards are down on the ground and Matt stands tall with a forming black eye and gashes on his face as he watches a group of guards take Emma and against her will, bring her to her family. Emma’s father stands in front of her thinking he could do something against the brick wall that was her angered boyfriend.
“Claire, stand behind me.” Emma’s father says, ushering his wife behind him as Emma stands by Brian’s side, clutching his shirt. Standing there, Matt clenches his jaw and looks up and down at the people before him and lastly, looks at the girl who now had puffy red eyes and dried tears on her cheeks. Giving a look at the man with his arms securely wrapped around his girl, he goes towards him thinking he was a threat. Against the wishes of the guards and her god forsaken parents, Emma then rushes up to him, engulfing him in a hug and takes his face in her hands in a loving embrace.
“Hey, calm down ok. That’s my brother and he’s here to help us, ok.” Emma says in a whisper so that her parents wouldn’t suspect anything. Matt turns to Brian who gives him a reassuring nod. Unwrapping her arms from Matt’s neck, she nods to Brian and grasps Matt’s hand in hers before sprinting as fast as they could to the van Brian drove in. As the three make a bee line, the two parents just watch them. Surprising the three, they tell the guards to not do anything because there would be nothing that they could do.
-
“Matt, are you ok?” Emma asks, lightly brushing her finger over Matt’s swollen eye.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be ok. The guards are in a lot worse shape than I am.” He says, earning laughs from the brother and sister. Not saying anything else, she nuzzles herself against Matt’s side and he throws his arm around her.
“So, you’re Emma’s brother. I’ve heard a bit about you man” Matt says, engaging himself in a conversation with Emma’s older and protective brother. “Yeah, I am, I’m Brian. I’ve read about you Shadows. I’m not really afraid you and your rep as long as you don’t break my little sister’s heart. If you do, you’ll die” Brian says, matter-a-factly.
“Noted” Matt answers looking down at his girl sleeping against his side. He smiles down at her and it’s at that moment where he knows that they are free.